This is an intriguing time in history when it comes to relationships in general as the expectation towards intimacy and emotional connection has taken center stage. In heterogeneous partnerships, for example, the traditional model of the man focusing all of his energy solely on earning an income and the woman remaining in charge of the household and the raising of children is starting to be replaced by a more egalitarian model. In this set up, regardless of whether the woman works outside of the home and contributes financially to the family, the man is now expected to be emotionally available and attuned nevertheless. This significant historical shift is occurring without much attention being paid to the new skills required for couples to create and enjoy the intimacy they crave.
The quality of partnerships and marriages improve when the people involved learn how to develop and access the full range of human traits and skills available to us all independent of our sex or orientation. While the world has socially constructed these human traits into bifurcated and gendered forms, it is important for us to claim them all. If we want to live intimate and connected lives, we need to know about vulnerability and resilience, tenderness and ruthlessness, openness and boundaries, assertiveness and surrendering, and compassion as well as accountability.
In my work with couples, I strive to balance the masculine and feminine energies of each partner first so that they can individually show up to the relationship as two whole people who are skillfully ready and able to shape an emotionally connected, yet differentiated life together. Undoubtedly, we heal in relationships and so this type of dynamic and active therapy affords significant rewards to each partner individually as well as to the couple as a whole. As we are hard wired for connection, I rely heavily on this biological imperative when I work with couples who desire a more satisfying and intimate life together.
Please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute consultation to discuss how couples therapy might benefit you and your relationship.